I recently received a message from you to stop tagging you in social media posts. I found it uncharacteristic for whom I’ve always known you to be and even now reserve the possibility someone found a way to spoof me. (Your dad used to have a subscription and get a great kick from the SpoofCard)
But I must also proceed as if that was 100% you.
I replied to that message that I was just trying to always leave a light burning, that my goal wasn’t to force you back into contact with your dad before you are ready but to always know that door stands open. I am saying that because he isn’t good at saying that.
He isn’t good at saying nice things as a general rule.
I am sharing this with you because I hope you’ll understand that there isn’t this First Family / Second Family divide as tends to be imagined. You aren’t the only child who ever waited on your dad to be like a dad to you.
Those tears described in Chandler’s eyes aren’t there because this was the first time his heart bore a dad-shaped injury- they were tears of anger and frustration because it was far from the first hurt and far, far from the last.
I’m not saying that your personal experience is less valid. On the contrary, I hope you’ll see that the failure to show up in ways you thought he should have nothing to do with you being “less than” anyone else.... I’m sorry if it feels like that.
It may seem we are miles and miles apart, but we are all adrift in the same sea, dealing with something less than ideal.
But...just because he doesn't choose us, doesn't mean we can't choose each other.
I love you.