Elizabeth Smart's Story

I recently picked up Elizabeth Smart's book at a local thrift store. 

It terrified me. As in, check all the closets, lock all the doors, "What was that noise?!" terrified me. 

It was not unlike watching a Criminal Minds episode... too late at night... and home all alone. 

I finished the book shortly before bedtime and so, I slept with flashlight and pepper spray nearby and I set up noise traps at RyeBird's windows.

She usually eventually ends up in 'the big bed' with us, but for the 45 minutes where she actually slept in her own bed, it was extra peace of mind. I did not sleep in  MY own bed. I just lay there, hyper-vigilant.  

~*~

 Sometimes, it is nice to pretend that the world isn't as sick and twisted as it really is, but stories like this deny that charade. The world is broken...very, very badly in some places. 

The month prior to this, I had picked up Jaycee Duggard's story at a different thrift store. Also scary. So I am now convinced that we are all surrounded by crazy, scary villains... and we probably really are. 

I think the premeditation element was the scariest to read about. I have never thought of crimes of this nature carried out on a whim, but neither have I considered the great lengths one may go to target a victim, either.



I am guilty of making myself a sitting duck in the name of Good Samaritan-ship and, if it is possible, I also experienced retro-active fear for the times I could have been killed or endangered my family. And there was definitely retro-active gratitude & humility. 

I am more appreciative now of the various forms of self defense I have at my disposal and more determined than ever to remember to bring those methods along with me when I am out and about... and probably also when I am sound asleep, too. 

~*~

Scary as the books were, both also spoke strongly to the incredible, indomitable human spirit.

We have an amazing ability to heal and rebuild after bad things have happened...even really bad things.

 I was surprised by the sometimes wry and  humorous note that Elizabeth was able to take as she described her captor and time in captivity. I admire her spirit. And... it felt strange, but there were moments a small  laugh suddenly escaped my lips as I read along. 

In the book, Elizabeth's mom takes her aside shortly after her rescue and gives her some advice for the days to come. Perhaps it was because I've been rattled a bit by these abduction stories and needed something to hold on to or maybe I recognized quickly the simple but powerful truth in her words, for whatever reason, Mrs. Smart's words have stayed with me and continue to resonate.

 I will share that passage momentarily, but I see a bunny trail and I'm going to hop a few steps in its direction . 

Bunny Trail: 

Coming out of high school,one of my listed interests @ the colleges I previewed was Counseling. 

Sometimes I said I wanted to study Psychology. I wanted to listen to people for a living and be able to help them. I wanted to be Frasier. I wanted a patient like Bill Murray in "What About Bob". 

 Amongst other interests and leanings in the professional world, "counseling" has remained a constant on my list-as opposed to "Clown" which fell off way, way back somewhere, and "Artist" which is too sporadic and lacking in ability to make anything higher than the Hobby List. 

Though the interest and - I like to believe- a heart for counseling -- has  persisted, there have also been mental hurdles and hesitancy that I have known was there but haven't necessarily been able to articulate well . 

One of those hurdles has been this mentality: How can I possibly help someone who has been through something worse than I've ever imagined, much less experienced. What right do I have to speak into their life? What difference would it really make? 

If you marvel that I can doubt my ability to adequately counsel imaginary future counseling patients... well, stick around. That's all I can say. 

My Head Knowledge: Of course it's better to admit that you don't have all the answers, to sit quietly and hold a friend's hand than to talk too much or offer empty sentiments- or worse say the wrong, wrong thing in an old-fashioned-well-meant-road-to-hell-paving-event. 

My True Self Expectation: Save Everyone!Fix Everything!...and FAST!!!. 

~*~

I recently read a book about death and dying {On Death and Dying by Elizabeth Kubler Ross} that tossed a little more kindling on my counseling desires. It gave me some direction about the sort of counseling I might would like to see myself involved in someday... but that's another post entirely. By contrast, Smart's book- or more specifically, Smart's mom-  provided a practical model for speaking into the life of someone who has more scars than me. 

This is what she said:

 "Before it gets too crazy, I need to tell you something. This is important. Elizabeth, what this man has done is terrible. There aren't any words strong enough to describe how wicked and evil he is! He has taken nine months of your life that you will never get back again. But the best punishment you could ever give him is to be happy. To move forward with your life. To do exactly what you want. Because, yes, this will probably go to trial and some kind of sentencing will be given to him and that wicked woman. But even if that is true, you may never feel like justice has been served or that true restitution has been made. But you don't need to worry about that. At the end of the day, God is our ultimate judge. He will make up to you every pain and loss that you have suffered. And if it turns out that these wicked people are not punished here on Earth, it doesn't matter. His punishments are just. You don't ever have to worry. You don't ever have to think about them again. You be happy, Elizabeth. Just be happy. If you go and feel sorry for yourself, or if you dwell on what has happened, if you hold on to your pain, that is allowing him to steal more of your life away. So don't do that! Don't you let him! There is no way he deserves that. Not one more second of your life. You keep every second for yourself. You keep them and be happy. God will take care of the rest." (pg 285-286)

Not only did I find the thoughts behind these words extremely wise, but also very applicable to walking through any given life. Even my own, say.  And while I know there's a large chasm between speaking these words to a hurting heart and being heard I saw in this example the importance and the impact of simply being willing to speak them. I hope to be as brave and insightful, as loving and true to the hearts that inhabit my life.  

Summer Reading Log 4

MUSEUMS & WOMEN and Other Stories  by  JOHN UPDIKE

I just love John Updike.

 This collection held most of 'The Maples Stories', one of my personal favorites. I had already read some of the other short stories in this collection. Other stories included were fun, new discoveries, like 'The Deacon'.

 The copy I got from the library succeeded in scandalizing my children every time they spied the cover, so Bonus Points for Updike. (See?)

Reading Updike on the beach,  Fourth of July. 

THE AMATEUR MARRIAGE  by ANNE TYLER

I just love Anne Tyler. 

This was a re-read. I had read this story many years ago. In the spirit of full disclosure, I wasn't positive about that until I started to read. However... I just love Anne Tyler... so I kept reading...anyway,  a lot of 'old' books are becoming more and more like new books. Though, for me, the first thing I forget is not the author, rather the ending, still I have found forgetting happens... true enough. 

(I just love Billy Collins)

 The Amateur Marriage 'time travels' with a couple, from their genesis during a WWII enlistment parade to a date just beyond the edge of 'Nine Eleven', where the story concludes just as we knew it would;  with a love that endures (jet lagged though she be).

LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE  by Roger Hargreaves

A handful of Mr. Men and Little Miss books had been banished to the dollar bin @ BAM- so we adopted them. 

Little Miss Sunshine thinks it is SILLY to do something just because a sign tells you to- especially if the sign makes you sad. I'm not sure encouraging Rye to paint anything was a great idea, but that is just how I described Little Miss Sunshine's problem solving... if you don't like what the sign says, paint a new sign that makes you happy.

Hmmm,  perhaps these aren't meant to be moral tales. 

~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~***~~~~~~

Because summer reading at our library instigated this series of semi-book reviews, I thought this would be the ideal post to put a link to OpenLibrary.org.

 (You may or may not have noticed I linked at least one of the above books to its copy on OL... just trying to help.)

 If you don't already have a (free) account there, you're wasting daylight, especially if you make use of an e-reader. 

Go. 

Check It Out!

 ::smirky:: 

Summer Reading Log 3

BUTTER SAFE THAN SORRY by Tamar Myers

This was my first time reading Tamar Myers. I loved the featured Amish and Mennonite characters, as well as Methodist, Baptists, good old fashioned pagans-(wait, is that redundit?) and nudist nuns to boot.

Amish themes make me nostalgic for our time in Kentucky. I welcome writing that incites nostalgia.

The story is full of word play, while the storyline itself is a little zany. This was the last title in a series of 18 and if I'm not mistaken, meant to be read in a particular order. Most of the characters were spoken of in familiar tones with little time spent re-introducing them. Many 'incidents' were referred to as if everyone had already heard the gossip (or read the previous books)

I love interactive books, though I have yet to try the butter based recipes included between chapters. I am looking forward to trying at least a few of them and probably, every single one.

Myers offers some other genres that I may check into. To me, the most interesting writing by Tamar was what I read of her own, personal bio. Perhaps it's that PK/MK bias, but I like her.

After I finished the last page, one element keeps coming back to me: the protagonist's unwitting ability to mimic the mating calls of various nearby farm animals with her singing or other cacophonous. emanations.

I remembered that smirky device again recently at a baseball game, where the high pitched calling from a lady in the stands put me on alert for a sudden convergence of amorous  ganders in our midst.  

THE DARK by Lemony Snicket

It's Lemony Snicket. For children.  What else needs to be said? I wish it had more pages. I wish it were a new chapter book to read aloud to The Big Kids... perhaps we will re-visit Unfortunate Events as a read aloud selection... just as soon as we finish Moby Dick... (what was I thinking?!) Still- it's Lemony Snicket- we'll take what we can get.

SUPERNATURAL WAR   (an eBook) by Bill Myers

Unlike most titles I've read by Myers, this book is an account of real events in the author's life. It was easy to see how these events, amongst others, have informed much of his fiction that deals with super natural elements. I am still processing what I read and mulling over the thoughts and questions that have arisen since I finished the last sentence. Though the era of 'The Jesus People' was a little before my time, and though I've never attended any of the 'spin-off' groups that resulted from the original cluster of 'Jesus Freaks' (at least, not to my knowledge) the spiritual atmosphere in which this account is described is familiar to me in some distinct ways. Maybe I'll attempt to dissect those in the future... for now, I've got some pondering to do. 

Summer Reading Log 2

GOOD POEMS ~ various authors, arranged by Garrison Keillor

Lots of good picks here (fitting title) but I had no doubt there would be. I had gotten ahold of Good Poems for Hard Times  first- a long while back. I hope to enjoy Good Poems, American Places in the near future. I copied so many of the poems into my quote journal that my hand began to ache. I eventually had to write the remaining titles of those I wished to keep so that I could look them up, print them out and just paste them in instead...too, too many. Someday, I will have all of these volumes on my shelf...somewhere. Currently, we move too much. Stacks and stacks of books are glorious, but heavy to move about the countryside, plus I hate what happens to books in storage. 

Iscariot by Tosca Lee

Lee's writing- and subject matter- reminds me of dark chocolate. And I love dark chocolate. I love when a book glimpses a familiar subject from an unfamiliar vantage. Iscariot was that kind of book. Painting a vivid backdrop for the story of Christ's crucifixion, Lee illuminated a Judas that looked much too much like myself. 

            Nine Horses by Billy Collins

Keillor introduced me to Collins. My sister deepened my appreciation for him when she brought a few of his books to the beach last winter. His appearance on children's show "Martha Speaks" won him even more of my approval (for all that's worth!) And just knowing that someday history books will be forced to record a time when our poet laureate was a guy named Billy, well... that's exactly why I like him. He's a poet for those of us who don't "do" poetry.

In the Nine Horses Collection I discovered my current favorite: Litany. When I mentioned to my brother that he really should be reading Collins and went to find a snippet for him, I happened across two videos of Litany being recited- one by the poet himself, the other by a three year old. They are both worth glimpsing.

 The video of the three year old makes me consider adding  poetry to our catechism & memory efforts with Rye. I can hear her now: "I believe in God the Father, Almighty, maker of the bread and the knife, the crystal goblet and the wine... (She does so love listing ALL the things that God made-no two lists alike) 

And... well, I thought I was the only one going around re-writing folks' stuff (if it weren't too prideful I'd quote that oft used adage about 'Great minds flocking together.. ' Still, I take permissions to continue 'the art of borrowing' ....because Billy does it. 

And for posterity, the Martha Speaks segment: 

Summer Reading Log 1

I finished reading the following from our first Summer Reading book grab at the  local library:  

Whale Season ~ N.M. Kelby

This was a fun, quirky Florida read. I had never read Kelby before. I imagine I will look up her other titles. Though this story is set at Christmas time, it feels like Summer. A lot like living here. 

There was a moment in the story where the proprietor of a strip club realizes that the disdain she feels for the men that 'should be home with their families on Christmas Eve' is misplaced... that these men are working on Christmas Eve for the sake of their families... regardless of the questionable nature of their chosen lunch spot. 

Sometimes, I am like that... it takes me a long time to see what has been right in front of me all along... to see something familiar in a new, perhaps kinder perspective. 

Or at least to choose to try to. 

Elsewhere:A Memoir ~ Richard Russo

This book explained a lot. It brought Russo into sharper focus. Nothing revealed here felt like news... more like a clearing up of the facts, already established through his fiction. As he put so well in the book

 "A writer needs to believe he's writing fiction- not thinly veiled biography" 

Even when all signs point to the latter. 

Another thing Russo did well- at least for me- was to bring a fairly unpalatable woman- not to a place where her iron will was excused or made any more appealing, rather to a spotlight where I asked myself " Am I really all that different from her myself?" 

The jury is still out on that one, folks :)