To begin, make sure that you start late into the evening, preferably after a long day of chores and errands and while still recovering from a serious knock to the noggin. If you can hear the night song of crickets, all the better.
Decide at the very last minute to add a layer, so as not to waste so much cake batter. Disregard that the only remaining pan is square.
You will want to buy professional cake supplies the day before, to convince yourself that THIS cake will turn out better than all the rest. . . it WON'T actually, but at least you'll have some motivation to help you make it through the night.
Once cakes have cooled, take new, handy dandy cake leveler and begin to saw away at the cake layers. Yes, they look crooked but that is IMPOSSIBLE since you used an actual cake leveler.
Set crooked layers to the side.
Disregard under-baked center in largest cake layer.
Claim it was meant to be "like LAVA cake" all along.
Puree spotty bananas with cream cheese and powdered sugar- double the recipe because there is so much cake, surely you will need MORE than less. Don't worry, it will be so late when you are pouring 3/4 of the bowl's contents down the disposal later on that you won't feel near as guilty as if you were wide awake.
Over Blend and Refrigerate.
1 hour later pull over blended and somewhat soupy banana mixture from fridge and begin to assemble cakes, using banana mix as glue.
Take stacked cake to closed fridge, balance heavy cake plate in bad arm and open fridge door.
Pick top two layers off of the floor and piece back together on top of the cake.
Wipe up the floor
Tell NO ONE
Place broken, crumbly cake in fridge to "firm" before frosting
Melt and pour white chocolate shapes
Botch and repeat
Botch again and settle for half of a star and candy melts, un melted (circles)
Make Dark Chocolate Ganache.
Spill a little, just for fun
Think you are clever and leave out 2 Oz chocolate to "thicken" ganache
Be dismayed to find this is not the result you get
Remind yourself to skip all notions of cleverness in the future
Later: Use Ganache anyway because you don't have time to wait for another batch
Begin to slice miniature marshmallows in half-- you will need to do a whole bag to cover this cake. Look on the bright side- twice the marshmallows for the price of one bag!
Spray marshmallows with aerosol food coloring and coat with glitter. Do this in several different bowl for each color and variant used on the cake (6-Yellow, Orange, Teal, Purple, Red, Blue)
Graduate to Jumbo marshmallows
Slice into thirds
Repeat color and glitter coating
Look at purple glittery fingers, reflect back on dream that prophesied this
Begin long, tedious process of covering cake with marshmallows
Realize you are short about 50 marshmallows
Begin slicing and coloring again
Affix star, circles and candles to cake
Place in Fridge
Realize candle makes it too big, DO NOT PLACE IN FRIDGE
Disassemble top layer
Place in Fridge
Look At Clock- 12:30, Not Bad
Look At Kitchen
Fetch Cooking Rum and A Broom . . .
