I should let it go, I know that. I am bigger than these silly trivial matters- or I should know how to be bigger by now, but like an "I Told You So" just bursting to get out, so too, is an "I Knew It" or an"I Saw It Coming"---or both.
"Aletheia Academy" had 'recess' at the park today. It was a beautiful day and we combined the play time with some learning activities- win, win, right?
Sure, a perfectly suitable, and enjoyable I might add, educational and play time experience, until the fleet of mini van moms rolled in with their less than school age troupe and rained on our "before public school lets out" parade.
"There she goes- proving that those homeschool moms really are trying to stay away from the rest of the whole wide world" I can hear you tsking - but Wait! Let me finish--
It wasn't their company or even the mass amount of little children pouring from their vans like clowns at the circus that changed the vibe... contrary to popular belief, I actually welcome and look for chances for my children to meet and play with other children from all sorts of walks in life. No, it wasn't sharing the park, it was the look on their faces; the look that planted itself in their features as they pulled up, parked and unloaded that said "Someone beat us here... she must be evil! "
I KNEW IT.
I SAW IT COMING.
So, I waited for it and it didn't take long...
I made a point of continuing the Map Activity that I already had my "students" doing before releasing them to play freely as a means of minding my own business, and even after there was little left to occupy myself with, I NEVER MADE EYE CONTACT. I wasn't rude. I wasn't showy. I just minded my own little space at the least desirable picnic table in the park (I had chosen the broken one in the event that others came along needing a place to lunch- thoughtful yet evil park dweller that I be)
They spoke first.
"So, you're kids are quite a bit older, eh?"
A bit of a change from the typical "Hi!" or "Nice Weather We Are Having Today" that we Americans consider proper greeting form... not even the more eccentric varieties of "Howdy" or "Wzup?" were offered
I try to imagine this as an ice breaker/getting to know you sort of line in any other context and it just doesn't really come off as folksy, ya know? At the grocery store for instance- I can see striking up a conversation with a mother of obviously older children in line and getting odd stares in return.
What I think she meant was " Shouldn't they be in school?" or maybe she meant "Are they mutant 3 year olds?!" but more than likely it was the former.
So, I answered, knowing that cold, stony silence was also not on the folksy list of options.
I nodded and "introduced" the children along with their ages, by pointing them out and returned to my reading/writing
"Do they homeschool?" inquired the 'sidekick woman' (doesn't seem to care about the subject at hand but fights friendliness anyway because Joker-- er, I mean, AlphaMom tells her to)
"Yes they do" and a quick return to my own business, but not without a pleasant smile first.
I tried to leave very little in the way of words for them to draw on, but lacking context did not prove to be a deterrent. Remember, they started the conversation with nothing but gargantuan children (in matching Aletheia shirts) running around the playground... they don't NEED context.
It was quiet for all of 45 seconds when AlphaMom tsked as if to herself, but really loud and in my direction
"That homeschool! Wow, must be..."
As if we all knew homeschool is a tricky bandit who forces you into his cult...er, I mean clutches in the dark of night.
( i am still trying to figure out what homeschooling must be- tough? hard? nice? easy?- which way did her assumptions flow I wonder)
Sidekick piped up here " Do you like it?"
I would like to receive nickels at this point for every time I did not answer these questions in all of the fun and satisfying ways that I could have. I stuck to the Sugar and Spice and all things Nice approach and answered that I do like it (to myself: that's why I do it) and gave a few quick blurbs about having been homechooled myself, online curriculum that made keeping track a bit easier, etc
I suppose they finally ran out of angles and so they moved on to other forms of cattiness. Only we women could invent such games as " Holding a Conversation That Is Really A Series of Questions Directed At Someone Not In The Conversation Whom We Want To Pick Apart, In Hopes They Will Pipe In And Give Us Details From Which We Can Compare and/or Brag About Our Own Similar Objects and/or Experiences-SO THAT We Do Not Have To Actually Invite Her Into The Conversation Or Otherwise Be Genuinely Nice"
Only a woman would know that this isn't a normal conversation just being held "accidentally too loud"
I decided that manners allow one to ignore conversations in which there is no direct address or in which no official invitation to join in has been offered, even if one knows that the only reason the conversation is being held is in hopes that she (the uninvited) will join in
I am a donkey, yes. But, I spit on your carrot, I trample it underfoot. I see the barb hidden within...
Anywho- words like New Car, Mercedes, Leather and Entertainment Package flew around and excuses for keeping a minivan instead of something "cooler" surfaced like a plea from a defense attorney. Job titles were flung about, volunteerism was touted like a boy scout badge and the troubles of traveling husbands were compared and contrasted without certain mothers knowing their situations were being discussed, what with them happening to stroll out of ear shot and all... (gossip)
If I would have had a ball of yarn, I swear I think I could have distracted them, or bribed them to like me, if only for the moment, or at the very least I could have used it to string them up properly from a tree like all cats should be, but I digress...
I had played Vow of Silence Monk-ette long enough so I rounded up my children who made me proud by being obedient the first time I called them... I got in my "not a minivan" and watched as in that VERY instant (the one in which we left) all of the other children were called to the table and served their lunches
You don't think they were waiting on us to leave, do you? Why would people act like that? I mean, isn't it kind of silly?
I don't think they were worried about getting tainted, or catching homeschool leprosy. It seemed to me a bit like someone who just wants to finish the last 2 minutes of a show/game/activity before moving on to their responsibilities.
I mean, I suppose, if I were just going about my business, in the midst of an ordinary day, and then, coming to my neighborhood park, I spotted a circus sideshow freak sitting on the bench, I too may be tempted to stare and gape and poke it with a stick...
If everyone you encounter is an opportunity to make a difference or make a friend or extend kindness, I am still trying to figure out what to offer folks like these. I believe some of it is general interest in what a real life homeschooler looks like...do they speak English? Are they human? Can I touch one? Will it bite me? And I am fine with that in a reasonable and respectful manner.
Others, however, seem to fall into the category with Large Family Nay-sayers- those joy robbers who like to make petty comments about 3 children being a gaggle compared to their American Dream 2 point five set of offspring....and don't you DARE have more than four or you just may be involuntarily "fixed" for your own good ( "Don't you KNOW what causes this, yet?!")
It is like homeschool is against some core virtue or value held by a particular group of people. As if, perhaps I didn't get the memo, am not "in the know"...like high school cliques all over again.
Those people bug me. I don't know why. I don't care if you like me- I'm a pretty "take me or leave me" kind of gal- but at least have a darned good reason for hating my guts... ya know?
Like, if I kill your cat- I deserve it- you can call me nasty names and send me hate mail. If I run over your foot or accidentally shoot your horse, forget your birthday or pop all your bubble wrap, if I take all the corner brownie pieces or pick all the pepperonis off your pizza..throw a brick through my window or buy a voodoo doll of me... if I have done something wrong, make me feel your wrath, make me earn you love-- but if you don't know me, well, I just think you should at least give me a fair chance at ticking you off BEFORE you make up your mind...and, in the name of fairness, Homeschool Haters, I will try to do the same for you.
