(yes, even the tree seems a little much fuss to my common sense detector, but that's another post)
So, call it a Christmas miracle if you will, but we have lights on the lawn this year AND I put them out there. Yeah.
I don't despise lawn lights any less, I just love my children to the moon and back and they not only have Christmas Cheer, they have Holiday Fever.
Clay was out of town one night this week and when he's gone, there is no one to tell me to go to bed, so I usually don't. This particular sleepless night- and early morning- I chose to "surprise" the kids by putting up Christmas lights on the lawn. They had seen me buy the lights, so the surprise was relative.
I will ever be the only one to fully appreciate the circus act that preceded me leading them outside to show off our humble light display... but I can try to explain.
Start by dropping the outside temp to somewhere around 45 degrees...
Now, imagine a box of net lights, meant to spread across our very sparse bushes being opened. The net isn't large enough to span the bushes and will look quite silly on just one of the 5 in front of our house...
Spend 30 minutes walking around the very cold house around 1 AM trying to figure out Plan B display
Decide to "net" the top of the palm tree and build around that...
Realize we have no ladder.
Drag one of our swiveling bar stools outside and place under palm tree.
Stand on stool with net lights in hand...
Contmeplate for 15, oh 20 minutes
Realize how silly that idea was and also that many neighbors are probably growing concerned at this point.
Climb Down
Plug lights into outside outlet to test length for yet another idea
Realize socket doesn't work anyway
Hunt for other outdoor sockets in both front and back yards
Worry often about raccoon, armadillo and possum bites while sifting through dark bushes
Realize we have no useable outlets
Go to fuse box, reset outdoor socket and/ or entire house due to lack of fuse box know how
Test outlet, unsuccessfully
Find Extension Cord
Run through front window, only after checking that window will still shut and latch safely despite cord
Check to see that it is about 3 AM
Find neglected tree from earlier landscape project, plant it where net lights display desired
Realize you have no shovel
Find kids' plastic spade in backyard
Dig
Plant root exposed tree
Cover with net lights
Assemble light up nativity
Re-Assemble
Re-Assemble
Fight with tipsy tree under too heavy net lights
Weigh tree roots down with potted plant.
Plug in, Re- arrange so innies and outies line up for next outlet
Assemble electric luminary bags
Screw in each luminary bag lightbulb
Run in front of nativity display
Re-Run for aesthetic balance
See now that it is nearly 5 am
Contemplate just hanging wreath in the morning
Decide Crazy has already set up camp, may as well finish the visit
Locate Hot Glue gun, plug in and wait for heat
Glue fake fruit to wreath
Tie ribbons
re-Tie ribbons
Hot Glue Ribbons to wreath
Hot glue fingers- ouch!
Go outside to size up wreath hanging, notice impending daylight
Hurry
Run extension cord through window
Plug in wreath
Climb step ladder (tall enough for this job,not palm tree earlier)
Adhere special No Slip hook and pray
Hang Wreath, hold breath
thank God for answered prayer concerning hanging wreath
Find clear duct tape to hide white cord along white siding
Make Hot Cocoa- on the stove... because it takes longer than using the microwave and at this point, why not?
Wake Children at 6 AM
Drag to Lawn
Expect bigger response
Send kids back to bed
Climb into bed at 6:30 AM
Hallucinate a lot
wake up at 8 AM
Feel guilty for sleeping while kids awake
Pour full cups of cold cocoa in sink
Listen closely, hear the landscapers outside
Threaten their very lives under your breath
Extend gratitude heavenward for new pinestraw
Look closely, see they've re-wired your lights... and better
Think of husband's landscape crew as kindly little mexican elves
Repeat set up steps as necessary each and every time the rain falls or wind blows
( which thus far has been often)
ALL that for THIS little display folks...
