I recently snagged a copy of O, What A Luxury to add to my Keillor shelf. Though I have read most Keillor titles, I tend to wait to adopt new family members until Fate sends them my way via thrift store or Friends of the Library sales. Both of the pictured volumes were gleaned from the limbs of ye old Dollar Tree. They're probably missing half their rhymes, but I would never discriminate against a book with special needs. They're good enough just the way they are. (Just this week I rescued two crayon-ed picture books -one an Eric Carle!- from library discard...almost every word can still be made out, have they no heart?) Enough of my yammering, let's talk about the things that go down after dark.
Garrison Keillor
Forbidden tastes, secret delights
Guilty pleasures late at night
So many things a person wants
Are not found in restaurants
When I suffer from heartbreak
I like some Chocolate Bacon Cake
You won’t find it on the grocery shelf
You’ve got to make it for yourself
You have to keep it very quiet
But someday you ought to try it
At night when no one is awake
Chocolate Bacon Cake.
Don’t be scandalized, don’t be flustered
But I love fried eggs with a smear of mustard
And now I’m alone and everyone’s gone
I fry the eggs, get out the Dijon
And smear it on a couple slices.
Mustard. I feel like Dionysus
And may I add in parentheses
Anything is good with cheese.
Meatloaf stuffed with ricotta
If you haven’t had it, maybe you oughta.
Meatloaf in which ricotta is piled.
You won’t find it in Julia Child
But it’s so juicy and delicious
You eat it and it softly squishes
Or for a taste of true romance
A grilled cheese sandwich with pecans,
Green onions, swiss cheese, and yes ma’am
A dollop of raspberry jam.
Or cheese and peanut butter on white bread
Dipped in batter, I’ve heard it said,
Dipped in batter and then deep fried
A secret pleasure that must be tried.
No, you won’t find it in Julia
But deep fried peanut butter is truly a
Life saver, and nothing is better
Than toast with jam, baloney and cheddar
Or eggs and cheese and grits and toss
On a squirt or two of Tabasco sauce
Forbidden tastes, secret delights
Guilty pleasures late at night
So many things a person wants
Are not found in restaurants
And if nobody else is near—
A glass of tomato juice with beer
If it’s dark I might spread
Peanut butter on soft white bread
And a couple pickles on the side,
Eat it and feel pacified
Or peanut butter, mustard, and baloney
A delicacy among the Shoshone
There’s nothing cures your cares and woes
Quite like a couple sloppy Joes.
Julia loved her joes to be sloppy.
She wrote it in her French Chef copy
Sloppy Joes calmed and steadied her.
It was taken out by an editor.
Forbidden tastes, secret delights
Guilty pleasures late at night
So many things a person wants
Are not found in restaurants
If you’re in need of sympathy,
Try chocolate, basil, and brie
In a panini, heated, and which
Could be followed by a peanut butter banana sandwich
Which some say is the most
Delicious served up on burnt toast.
Others cure their miseries
With pancakes made with cottage cheese.
Or go to the kitchen, get out the bowls
Have chili and cinnamon roll.
You don’t know what pleasure means
The acme of the world’s cuisines
The epitome of class and status—
Put baked beans on baked potatoes.
Lay them out in two nice stratas
Baked beans on baked potatoes.
Don’t tell them or him or her
It’s what you secretly prefer
And if you’re still hungry, for goodness sake,
There’s always Chocolate Bacon cake.