Our hands brushed as we tucked our daughter into bed
between us.
He pulled away quickly as if burned, despite a lack of spark.
Exasperated sigh; me.
Our bodies have touched, remember?
They've been intertwined.
Look at the child between us.
How do you think those get here?
These were only thoughts.
We have been stuck fast in a No Speaking zone for weeks.
No Touching Zone, too.
Obviously.
Down with sixty second hugs,
We laughed at the couple who did not know how.
'Always kiss me goodnight'
Pretty, plastic platitude.
I understand not wanting to touch.
I need those walls, too.
Bites always forthcoming.
Please, do, just stay over there
In your corner
Pouting.
Jimmy Wayne, baby.
Stay gone.
The touch was accidental
This is all so typical.
First it's loud bravado
and then a falling back,
victimized by yourself,
the blame is shifted to me.
He makes a list of all the things I am not;
tells me to just leave.
I am not:
a good mother
a godly person
genuine
I think of me that same way, too.
Spend my life trying to change it.
If those are the reasons we fail,
it is far too late for rescue.
'It sucks to lose your investment', he says
I agree though our currencies differ.
Promises were made
Tee shirts worn
Trip upon trip was taken
Renew those vows
Merge accounts
These bracelets made of hope and rope-
We'll never take them off.
I look at my naked wrist which has accidentally burned him
He is saying 'Our hate is mutual'
But only he has spoken.
"I can't imagine building a life with you."
(now that we are twenty years in )
Good things, spoiled
should we have attained them:
Trips with bickering;
a home spilling over with fight..
What is truly lost?
Time, perhaps.
The plot?
A belief in happy endings.
If this is
at last
The End.
Until the last apology,
I cannot see myself out.
Time and tomorrow will tell.
As always
We wait.
(because there was potential)
