"Release me?"
We, the children and I, had just listened to the recording where Neil Gaiman read 'A Christmas Carol' at NYC Public Library and we had begun to listen to an audio drama of the same story.
So, the scene where Belle releases Ebenezer was fresh in our minds.
But listen, it has never been far from mine.
I should mention we've been traveling down the crooked alley of divorce for at least a half a mile. We are closer to the end of that passage than the day he filed his intent...
Best Man and Maid of Honor replaced now with attorneys on either side.
The Reverend who married us in his backyard and bumbled through the vows replaced by a judge, honorable and wise.
There is no music, but the courtroom's bailiff has a delightful sense of humor and keeps things running smoothly. She tells us when to sit and stand and speak.
We meet in courtroom 2B, inviting metaphors about 'Not 2B' at your leisure.
Together, we and our witnesses have taken new oaths, oaths to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth unless it will land us in debtor's prison or at the mercy of paying alimony. Then we have apparently decided to 'posture' our way through. Well, he has.
But listen, this has always been his way.
From what must there be release? I cannot speed up judicial proceedings, nor did I set them into motion.
My hope for the return of a friend both kind and gentle was pulled from my grasp at his own angry, insistent command.
"So, do I have your permission?" he asked me two weeks past.
Rest easy, my old beloved, those aren't my chains you wear.
I wear the chain I forged in life,' replied the Ghost. `I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?'
Scrooge trembled more and more.
`Or would you know,' pursued the Ghost, `the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago. You have laboured on it, since. It is a ponderous chain!'
Scrooge glanced about him on the floor, in the expectation of finding himself surrounded by some fifty or sixty fathoms of iron cable: but he could see nothing.
`Jacob,' he said, imploringly. `Old Jacob Marley, tell me more. Speak comfort to me, Jacob!'
`I have none to give,' the Ghost replied. `It comes from other regions, Ebenezer Scrooge, and is conveyed by other ministers, to other kinds of men...
And so I sent Belle's reply as my own:
For again Scrooge saw himself. He was older now; a man in the prime of life. His face had not the harsh and rigid lines of later years; but it had begun to wear the signs of care and avarice. There was an eager, greedy, restless motion in the eye, which showed the passion that had taken root, and where the shadow of the growing tree would fall.He was not alone, but sat by the side of a fair young girl in a mourning-dress: in whose eyes there were tears, which sparkled in the light that shone out of the Ghost of Christmas Past.
`It matters little,' she said, softly. `To you, very little. Another idol has displaced me; and if it can cheer and comfort you in time to come, as I would have tried to do, I have no just cause to grieve.'
`What Idol has displaced you?' he rejoined.
`A golden one.'Have I ever sought release?'`In words. No. Never.'`In what, then?'`In a changed nature; in an altered spirit; in another atmosphere of life; another Hope as its great end. In everything that made my love of any worth or value in your sight. If this had never been between us,' said the girl, looking mildly, but with steadiness, upon him;' tell me, would you seek me out and try to win me now. Ah, no.'
He seemed to yield to the justice of this supposition, in spite of himself. But he said with a struggle,' You think not.'
`I would gladly think otherwise if I could,' she answered, `Heaven knows. When I have learned a Truth like this, I know how strong and irresistible it must be. But if you were free to-day, to-morrow, yesterday, can even I believe that you would choose a dowerless girl -- you who, in your very confidence with her, weigh everything by Gain: or, choosing her, if for a moment you were false enough to your one guiding principle to do so, do I not know that your repentance and regret would surely follow. I do; and I release you. With a full heart, for the love of him you once were.
He was about to speak; but with her head turned from him, she resumed.`You may -- the memory of what is past half makes me hope you will -- have pain in this. A very, very brief time, and you will dismiss the recollection of it, gladly, as an unprofitable dream, from which it happened well that you awoke. May you be happy in the life you have chosen.'
She left him, and they parted.
And being given this release, he thanked me, said he had needed just this freedom from me and before he turned to go, offered me first place in line for his newly available heart.
Lucky me, but I declined, for he is a free man and I must stay to bury these vows.
Besides, I am not sure he would be able to handle my ex - that man is truly a work of arts.