"This is the first day of my life..."
I set my alarm to that old Bright Eyes song and slept somewhat fitfully last night, anticipating today - the day I start something new.
I am going to school.
I enrolled in college a few times when I was married, but 'mysteriously', before the first day ever rolled around, we needed to move or I needed to take a part-time job to help make ends meet.
So, I never made it to school, though I was able to take a few online classes.
Today marks the first day in a life I am choosing, a new direction that- crash or sail- I am happy to be living.
I never realized how isolation worked until I was free to build community, how innocuous the actions of a fence-builder can seem.
"I've just got too much work to do, we can't visit " and "We're our own little family, let's make new traditions together, just ourselves." is hardly sinister, until it is an enforced way of life.
That is to say, going to a family funeral should never result in your spouse changing the locks or threatening divorce. Love does not imprison its intended.
If isolation is your reality, I'm waving my light from shore; there is freedom and I hope you find it.
For me, that was then. But, this is today, the day I am going to school.
And I am happy.
