Ordinary Life

" Z " is for ZOOBILEE ZOO In an early step towards my "dorkdom" (no offense other Zoobilee fans) I was a fan of Zoobilee Zoo. I couldn't tell you a thing about the show now, except there were people, dressed up as animals, and singing. Singing to me, to my very heart and soul. They just GOT me, you know? They understood me, and I understood them. We could RELATE! And it was all very moving to my young heart. Perhaps Mayor Ben is to be thanked for swaying me towards a love for " the (atrical) Arts " (or perhaps he should be ousted, because despite it's catchy music, I still can't sit all the way through RENT ) Anywho- there's your Z and the end of our little alphabet game ( for now, anyway)

To begin, make sure that you start late into the evening, preferably after a long day of chores and errands and while still recovering from a serious knock to the noggin. If you can hear the night song of crickets, all the better. Decide at the very last minute to add a layer, so as not to waste so much cake batter. Disregard that the only remaining pan is square. You will want to buy professional cake supplies the day before, to convince yourself that THIS cake will turn out better than all the rest. . . it WON'T actually, but at least you'll have some motivation to help you make it through the night. Once cakes have cooled, take new, handy dandy cake leveler and begin to saw away at the cake layers. Yes, they look crooked but that is IMPOSSIBLE since you used an actual cake leveler. Set crooked layers to the side. Disregard under-baked center in largest cake layer. Claim it was meant to be "like LAVA cake" all along. Puree spotty bananas with cream cheese and powde...

As I was loading groceries into the car, I teasingly threatened to "run away and change my name" as each child had called to me and seemed to be competing for my full attention. With the last bag to be loaded in hand, I heard Lo say " ... and then we can have Daddy ALL to our selves!" Well, pardon me! I didn't realize I was SO in her way :)

Fisher's got a girlfriend, and I'd tell you who she is if he knew her name . . . We visited a church this weekend (see: revival ) where the only child that didn't go into the main service with us was Fisher. When he came out of nursery he said " I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND !" When asked her name he said " I Don't Know, She Big" (I suppose I need to teach him that later in life, calling his one and only love BIG isn't going to win him points) He then asked " Can we go there EVERYDAY?" and said "And we not getting her flowers!"(very adamantly as if I, had suggested we bring her a bouquet), "I giving her a fountain--like your honey one momma!" In this instant two things became clear to me- he intended to give his new love MY fountain HE was the culprit who kept sneaking the thing on when I wasn't looking. Obviously he's quite fond of the thing...I didn't have the heart to tell him that the broken clay vessels are...

Y is for : " It's fun to stay at the YMCA !" One of the children's favorite places to go AND one of their favorite songs. I recently had to referee a dispute over who got the ToothTunes toothbrush that plays "YMCA" when you brush-- they all wanted it and I had to draw the line on allowing them to share in this instance

my, how you've grown... chan lolo fisher BEFORE shots

Since it it the 30th, here's a list of 30 things from "back in the day" (cause I'm temporarily out of other stuff to say) MEPSI (North Augusta, SC) Sky City Stores Slap Bracelets (could be bought at Mepsi) Jelly Shoes Malibu Musk Electric Youth (music & perfume) Tinkerbell Cosmetics Little Libby Movie Booths (found in sky city stores) Tye Dye JAMS Oh!Calcutta (Regency Mall) CABOODLES (a must have) Sweet Pickles (not the food) Making Friendship Pins Flash Cubes 110mm Cameras Hangin' Tough Glow In The Dark Stars Barbie Garbage Pail Kids (outlawed in my house) You Can't Do That On Television ( also outlawed) Lee Press Ons Commodore 64 Sticker Books/collections Pencils with interchangeable leads Grab Bags from Hello Kitty Steam Powered toy car Sno Cap Drive In French Hook earrings vs. Post Trapper Keeper

HEAD ON (apply directly to the forehead) over to Brad 's site to check out the guest review I did for The Pirate's House . (I gots' chores to do-- it'll give ye something to read til I get 'em done) a'ight? CLICK HERE TO BE RE-DIRECTED

"All fairy tales, whether happy or sad, have this one thing in common: they all come to an end" ~me

I am the FREEZER QUEEN . I do not try to hide this "undomesticated tidbit" about myself - it is a pretty well known (and agreed upon)fact that, without pre -packaged frozen foods my small family would have long ago: a.) died of malnutrition (I can go days without remembering to cook) or b.) died of food poisoning ( accidental, of course) So, it should come as no surprise that our freezer routinely contains " Smuckers In A Box" or as they are more commonly known Uncrustables ™- frozen, crust less sandwiches. And anyone who knows my kids must also know about the peanut butter fixation and could win fifty bucks easy if I were gullible enough to let you bet that much on which variety (of grilled cheese or peanut butter) we regularly buy. What MAY surprise you- and then again not, if you know my four year old- is that my house STILL smells like smoke, some six hours later. ... smoke and peanut butter. For those uninitiated or beyond the years of packing lunches, let...

I take great pleasure in forcing my children to relive the joys of my youth- no matter how outdated. Sometimes it takes, and sometimes not... Amongst some of my more recent mp3 downloads have been a handful of Ray Stevens' treasures that they actually seem to LIKE (and not just because I tell them to) They first got acquainted with Stevens' silly style at Christmas time with his "Santa Clause is Watching you ( he's everywhere!) but in recent days have come to appreciate him also for The Monkees , and The Streak, amongst others. And though they thoroughly enjoy any and all references to nudity, we have purposefully shielded their ears from "What we gonna do when the kids are gone" because we KNOW how much of a kick they would get out of hearing "Buck Naked" that many times in a row. for more Stevens' flashbacks see also: REVIVAL PIRATE SONG MARGARET

The thoughts leading up to this post began a few weeks back, when in an effort to saturate our kids with fond memories from our own childhood, princeCharming and I downloaded some "classic" (old) music for a road trip . After hearing the Mississippi Squirrel Revival for the first time in a long time, I got to thinking about how many churches I wish I'd have thought to smuggle a squirrel into. But I told myself " Self, do not post a cynical and squirrel waving post until you have visited this new church, or it may reflect unfairly upon their service" And so I waited until today- today, when I wish I would have smuggled TWO squirrels into the new church we were visiting. I could have left when they started with the Nicene creed... ( I DO BELIEVE IN...well, let's save all that for another post, shall we?) But...BUT-- the pastor was a good teacher- sound and true, and deserving more respect than a crazed squirrel... I had heard him on SermonAudio , so, we stuck...

BEE: Bzzz ! Bzzz ! Translation: you're too close for comfort ME: Don't threaten me, little bee--I'll chop that shrub down entirely! I continued to sit there, listening to the birds and the bees , smelling the flowers and gazing at our full bloom tree. I did not go inside until the sun had set. And the bee and me? We made as friendly as one can expect to get with a bee.

do not, under any circumstances, consume Glade Plug Ins scented oil...not even vanilla.

"X" is for XYL I hate stereotypical uses and misuses of the letter x when people are trying to operate alphabetically- so I did a little research and it turns out that yours truly is an XYL on shortwave radio/ Morse Code You should check, you may be one too.

to Big Chief because in a land of pirates you can still sing and dance :)

because i lived.... ... and because he says I'm not allowed to die first. (we have a bet)

know the blue man group? (coming soon to a BiLo center near you) I dreamt I was every bit as purple as they are blue-- and dusted with cake glitter too. I also dreamt another wreck it spun me 'round and broke my neck and that my brother was crying at the zoo ( booHoo ?) i went to bed pure (as i get)-- it was too late to take anything that would leave me zonked in the morning... ... call it Odd A'La Natural Apparently, this is a good idea in real life to some folks: Couldn't tell you the occasion here... some engineering types-- go figure! ( HOW they did it)

We made our own little " Sprouts ™ " with nylon knee highs and grass seed- oh! and of course, googly eyes. They aren't quite as bald as they once were, they aren't as "fuzzy" as we hope one day they'll be: F.K.B. L.A.B. C.B.B.

LEATHERNECK - my new code name ...but you can call me Wendell * see also : untouchable and " E.T. Neck" (thanks,Chan!)

"W" is for whining, which I am trying not to do, in spite of all the reasons I feel that I am entitled to. Instead, I'm trying to " Whistle While I Work " (...even though it is the FOURTH time I've had to change kids' sheets this week-- this week, the week that I'd just like to lie still in a darkened cave...) Grrr! really, I'm not complaining- I'm glad I still have them here to wet and get sick all over the sheets--even if it is rather inconvenient to clean up :)

For my cuz RHYNO just becuz... well, he knows It is being passed on to a new generation , don't that make you feel... good? old? Here's To Squaredance! ( you're secret is safe with me)

"V" is for vanilla because it is versatile and very, very me. Plain and Basic. Ok alone, but good with sprinkles, too. I love chocolate, banana, strawberry and chunky monkey, but after an hour spent on the ice cream aisle, I usually always resort to vanilla, with the little vanilla bean flecks. If for no other reason than "it's easiest" but also because "I can turn it into whatever I want it to be"

giggle giggle ha ha ha-- - so last night it was a tiger dream -- there was no music, but I did wake up humming a little Buck Owens. E N J O Y ! **It may interest you (or not) to know that we had Chinese food on Monday and while waiting for our almond chicken and egg rolls to arrive, we deciphered our Chinese Year from the place mats -- princeCHARMing is a tiger . Isn't it ironic? Dontcha think? A little TOO ironic And yeah, I really do think... it's time to put the meds away and just suck it up for another day ( or 3)

Last night, I dreamt " One Headlight " ( blame the heavy medication) And woke up singing it today... Maybe it was seeing the truck yesterday and noticing the headlight hanging out of the grill, or maybe I knew more of the lyrics than I realized and related them to myself. But as I read over the lyrics I still can't help but feel " How Bizarre " ( sub conscience but not subtle-that's just the way it works with me sometimes) I have been singing today - to myself and still as awful as ever- but I suppose that means this road is getting shorter and a better one is just ahead.

"U" can be for UNDER UNDER His wings- we were UNDER the Influence - he was UNDER the weather - I am UNDER construction - that too UNDER the stars - prettier now

May the road rise up to meet you May the wind be always at your back May the sun shine warm upon your face the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand The road rose up to meet us indeed, and then I lay on it like an asphalt pillow. The wind was not at our backs, but knocked out of us completely as we collided with the other truck. My hair was singed and my neck burnt, but not from the warmth of the sun, and the only light came from the ambulance flashers. No rains fell, but there were plenty of tears, as the children looked on in fear. We were no doubt held safe in his palm because we are alive today A girl named Kelly hiding from the party crowd meets A drunk driver who leaves behind A red and kiss-shaped bruise on her chest with his truck once upon a St Patrick's Day night in SAVANNAH... Luck Of The Irish or Isn't It Ironic? Whose to say... But the details go something like this: We were involved in a wreck Satur...

"T" is for Teal . Once I hated this color pretty passionately, but like orange and brown before it, I have come to terms with it in recent years and could even be accused of slight favoritism in recent days. A real thought I had the other day : " I could paint RO teal and get one of those bass boat glitter finishes... "

you can take the pig out of the mud -- heck you can even take him home and teach him some tricks, give him a bath and outfit him in a tiny black tux-- but you cannot, I repeat, CANNOT take the mud out of the pig. trust me on this

thanks to a lot of caffeine and a little insomnia, I moseyed over (as I am occasionally wont to do) to BoingBoing and discovered the previously-unknown-to-me Naturally 7 spotlighted there. No doubt, these boys are talented. I am not sure that I will ever choose beat boxing as a personal download,(who can say?) but I have always appreciated a Capella style and this fits into it. (back in the day, when getting a cd player for Christmas was the equivalent of getting the newest iPod , one of my first cd's to play on my new, high tech cd / cassette combo player was Accapella ( woot ) Concert sauvage dans le métro ! Uploaded by lapapsprod What I appreciate about this video the most however, is Mr. Trench coat . He seems determined to continue on with his crossword/ Sudoku as if there isn't a concert being held directly behind him. He is eventually forced to take some notice, because, how could you not? His smug reaction leaves me wondering if he really dislikes Phi...

"S" is for SLIDE. As in sliding down a grassy hill on an old refrigerator box. I never realized that other people did this until I read " Billy Goat Hill " ( named for an actual place in SanFrancisco , where others have taken the slide)

So, I would venture to guess that pC and I were some of the youngest folks at Savannah's Civic Center last night-- and that's ok , because somewhere on the inside, I am in my early 60's and looking very scholarly in a tweed jacket. I am not smoking a pipe, because there is virtually nowhere left on the planet to smoke, but I look as if I should be. And since I am old on the inside-- I had a smashing good time at last night's An Evening With Garrison Keillor . pC was entertained too, though a few times he warned me he was getting drowsy, which is understandable. Keillor has that deep, lulling voice that flows like a cold mountain creek; he could be a hypnotist. In fact, I think it no coincidence that he convinced the entire audience to skip their badly needed bathroom breaks ( ok , so I am speaking personally here) to stay with him through the intermission and have a sing a long. We sang one of Johnny Mercer's songs to honor the fact that he, Garrison Keillor , was...

According to Wikipedia , there is no reason to believe that pixie dust can be found amongst the ashes in the fireplace. Someone should have told Fisher. It all started with this blasted saving day light nonsense. I had already lost an hour thanks to the springing forward, not to mention it was Sunday afternoon and we had just come home from a large and sleep inducing meal at Jalapenos. I had fallen asleep on the over sized armchair, despite Peter Pan blaring at full volume on the t.v. It may have been half an hour, or just as easily been one of my infamous and involuntary, five minute power naps (some would say narcolepsy - To-may-to , To- mah -to , I say.) Eventually, I startled awake and, feeling a bit lost, went to find my prince. I discovered that he too had suffered a bout of narco - power napping and like a true Goldilocks was still sleeping in my bed. He stirred just long enough to pat the bed beside him- an invitation to hop in. And I, being the submissive wife that I a...